Amid rumors that several of the Dodgers’ players urinated in the Diamond Back’s pool following their clinching of the NL West, Arizona native John McCain took revenge by urinating in four of the Dodgers’ pools spread throughout Malibu and Silver Lake this past weekend.
“I don’t take disrespect like this lightly,” said Senator McCain, who told the Associated Press that he prepared for his retribution by adhering to asparagus only diet for the two weeks prior.
McCain was quick to admit that peeing in a pool is something he has done hundreds of times without remorse, but that it was always in his own pool or the ocean … and a few times in his neighbor’s pool. But that he has never peed in a pool out of malice or disrespect. Still, McCain feels that the peeing only is not enough.
“I also put one thing from each of their medicine cabinets in the dirty toilet and returned it,” said McCain.
So far the Dodgers players have been silent in their response to the Senator’s actions, however, close sources have said two of the players have already sold their homes.
Police have taken samples from the players’ pools and following a DNA test will consider prosecuting the Senator.