Donald Trump Buys Burkini Business Empire, Now Welcomes All Muslims to the U.S.

Following the recent ban by many conservative politicians in France, banning the use of the burkini, Donald Trump has bought four of the five major burkini producers in the world.

‘The American people want a businessman who makes smart decisions. I am making a profit and essentially brokering a peace with the Middle East at the same time,” said Trump.

Certain beaches in France banned the burkini (a formal swimsuit that covers most of the head and body worn by Muslim women) because of what they described as a security factor in identification and perhaps most importantly a severely misplaced sartorial mistake.

French President Hollande is on record saying, “The nation of France has a certain reputation to uphold for women’s style especially at the beach. And because of this we cannot condone this fashion faux pas.”

The recent ban has come close to destroying the entire burkini industry, prompting Trump to buy the fledgling companies for cheap. He hopes now to take them to a new market in the United States.

“It’s what I’ve been saying all along. We want immigrants to come into this country legally, legally, and legally buy my products.”

The acquisition of the burkini companies will be incorporated into the Donald J Trump line just as soon as his Vietnamese textile factories get the molds.

Trump later tweeted. “Muslims are welcome. But we only want the Muslims that want to buy things and not blow things up #buyingnotblowing.”

Trump also added, “I’m sure the Khan mother will be glad to wear it at the beach. I don’t know if she’s allowed to speak at the beach, however, but at least she’ll look good. I just don’t know how those things work for those people.”

The American burkinis are set to hit stores on Tuesday, November 8th.

Sunday August 28, 2016