Trump: Pluto is too loser of a planet. It’s small. It’s weak. Oh, does Pluto endorse me . . . ? Rick Santorum: I think every state should be able decide whether or not it’s a planet. I don’t think any big government organization should be able to define it. […]
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The Real Reason Former National Security Advisor Flynn left – Acting Will Star as the Hobgoblin in Upcoming Spiderman Flick
There has been widespread confusion and speculation regarding the exit of General Michael Flynn. First reports indicated he voluntarily resigned before Trump seemed to announce that the General was dismissed. However, we at the Sunshine Herald have exclusively discovered that Flynn in fact quit in order to play the supervillain […]
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Drug Dealers Social Lives Destroyed from Recreational Marijuana
The unintended victims of California’s legislation legalizing recreational marijuana are drug dealers but not in the way many might think. Many marijuana drug dealers are concerned that they will no longer have any friends now that they cannot provide them with access to illegal drugs. “I mean I don’t have […]
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Kaepernick Says He Was Tebowing the Whole Time
Colin Kaepernick came out on Monday explaining that he wasn’t protesting the national anthem for black rights but was in fact ‘Tebowing’. Kaepernick blames the media for the hype and grossly misrepresenting him. “I had been Tebowing for a few games in a row and no one even noticed. Then, […]
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Donald Trump Buys Burkini Business Empire, Now Welcomes All Muslims to the U.S.
Following the recent ban by many conservative politicians in France, banning the use of the burkini, Donald Trump has bought four of the five major burkini producers in the world. ‘The American people want a businessman who makes smart decisions. I am making a profit and essentially brokering a peace […]
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Israel uses Reverse Psychology to Kill Iran Nuclear Deal
After months and months of denouncing the Iran Nuclear Deal, Israel has finally struck gold by supporting the measure and in doing so making it unfeasible for any Iranian to support. Israel has poured millions of dollars into various propaganda campaigns in Iran over the last three months criticizing the […]
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Children Militants at Toys R Us
Inspired by the Oregon protestors a militant group of children has taken over a Toys R Us.Calling themselves the Naps Are For Babies (NAFB), a group comprised of eight small children ranging in age from 5 to 9 years old stormed into the Toys R Us at La Cienega Plaza […]
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Hasidic Jews Snubbed in Oscar Nominations, Again
For the past 69 years, not a single Hasidic Jew has been nominated for an Oscar, again calling out Hollywood for a lack of diversity and attention to the minority’s cinematic talent. “Everyone says Jews run Hollywood, yet the people who might most accurately resemble Judaism in its true form […]
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Los Angeles Wants Syrian Refugees . . . to Create Food Trucks
The city of Los Angeles submitted a proposal on Tuesday in which they would take up to 10,000 Syrian refugees on the stipulation that when they move here, they are required to create food trucks. The demand for food trucks continues to increase all over Los Angeles, but the ideas […]
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Kim Davis Claims Pope Francis ‘Hit On’ Her, Rebuffs His Advances
During Pope Francis’ visit to the United States he met with Kim Davis, who reported that he made a sexual advance on her and that she turned him down. Davis (now infamous for her refusal to grant marriage licenses to gay couples in Kentucky because of her religious views) says […]