Roger Goodell released a press release yesterday in which he admits that the NFL has suffered from Affluenza for close to 40 years. Affluenza is a painful, contagious, socially transmitted condition over debt, anxiety, and stress resulting from the dogged pursuit of more. It is now a recognized mental illness […]
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Kaepernick Says He Was Tebowing the Whole Time
Colin Kaepernick came out on Monday explaining that he wasn’t protesting the national anthem for black rights but was in fact ‘Tebowing’. Kaepernick blames the media for the hype and grossly misrepresenting him. “I had been Tebowing for a few games in a row and no one even noticed. Then, […]
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LeBron James to Play One Game for L.A. Galaxy
Following LeBron James comment last year that he wanted to play a game in the NFL, L.A. Galaxy coach, Bruce Arena, invited LeBron to play for the soccer team in hopes to boost sales after the three years of substantial decline caused by the retirement of David Beckham. “With the […]
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LA Kings Jarret Stoll Admits to Life of Crime after Vegas Arrest
Following his arrest for cocaine and ecstasy possession at a Las Vegas hotel in April, L.A. Kings forward Jarret Stoll broke down and confessed to over 20 other felony crimes over the last ten years. “He seemed to have been holding it in for a long time and just wanted […]
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Justin Bieber on Par to Beat Wilt Chamberlains Sex Record
Wilt Chamberlain claimed to have slept with over 20,000 women during his lifetime.
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L.A. Lakers Set to Change Name Due to Drought
On Monday Jerry Buss announced that the L.A. Lakers will officially change their name because the drought has left not a single lake anywhere in L.A. nor the surrounding counties. “The team name was already a stretch for a city by the ocean (thanks a lot Minnesota), but now with […]
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Sports Illustrated Votes L.A. Kings’ Dustin Brown as Worst Beard in the NHL
In preparation for the upcoming NHL playoffs where players put down the razors until they lose, Sports Illustrated has highlighted the worst beards among the NHL, with the L.A. Kings’ very own Dustin Brown taking the top spot. “Hockey players have always been infamous for being the least attractive of […]
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John McCain’s Urination Revenge
Amid rumors that several of the Dodgers’ players urinated in the Diamond Back’s pool following their clinching of the NL West, Arizona native John McCain took revenge by urinating in four of the Dodgers’ pools spread throughout Malibu and Silver Lake this past weekend. “I don’t take disrespect like this […]
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#Stillbetter Top Trending Hashtag
In the wake of the underwhelming Manny Pacquiao vs Floyd Mayweather fight, the hashtag #stillbetter is trending number one on twitter today. Here are some of the greatest.
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Kim Jong Un rides 100 foot wave at Manhattan Beach Pier
On a surprise trip to the United States, North Korean leader Kim Jung Un tried surfing for the first time and successfully rode the first 100-foot wave at the Manhattan Beach pier, according to the Korean Central News Agency. This unprecedented achievement comes despite many obstacles, the first being that […]